just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't deserve a penis
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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