there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i came on her dog
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
