I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize