Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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