My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
