So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
