i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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