She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
