I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
