so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
