no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
