ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
two words: eviction party
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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