conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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