but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
