I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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