Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
