i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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