I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
