i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
