Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
