Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
