Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
