bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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