dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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