Its about making memories worth repressing
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize