Pappa wants mamma naked
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
