I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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