I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
