At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
