I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
