i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
