You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
