you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
