Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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