I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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