we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
