I want to have your abortion
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
