ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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