I wanna passion pit in your ass
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
