if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
