Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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