these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my sisters under your porch take her home
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize