I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
