garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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