she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Your dad touched me again.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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