Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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