So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
