how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
