I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
