420 ftw
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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