Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize