I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
