I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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