Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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