Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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