Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
