After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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