saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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